For Stephanie.

I have never really been the type to have a lot of real close friends. I may have a lot of friends, but the closeness always comes and goes. I value a true friend. I value it like I value having two arms...like I value a roof over my head.

Well, I do have a best friend. She and I have been friends for over 12 years. TWELVE YEARS, my friends. She was there when I was a Freshman in high school and I couldn't drive...she was there when I found out I was pregnant at age 18. She was there the night I turned 21, she was there in the first house we lived in together and the second house we lived in together. She was there for the birth of my son, and three years later my wedding and then the birth of my girls. She was with me in Caesar's Palace, Times Square, and both ends of the Pacific. She was there when I crossed the finish line, doing something I never thought I could do...and I wouldn't have without her there with me the whole time. She was there for all our crazy nights, and there for lazy weekends of doing nothing. I don't have a memory without her there...she is always there. I know she will be there when I need someone. I know she will go with me when I need someone to go somewhere with. I know I will never have to be alone because I always, always count on her.

She is the person I wish I could be: caring, never-judging, loving. She never, and I mean never says a hurtful word about another person. She is just so totally beautiful inside and just as beautiful outside. No one knows me like her, no one understands me like her, no one else do I feel like I can tell anything. Sometimes, I think we might actually be the same person. I know I will never have another best friend who is as "best" as she is.

She is moving.


And I keep crying. But, it's time for her to expand her wings and get away from here. Good for her--I never did and wish I would have. What am I going to do? Who am I going to go with? Who am I going to talk to? She won't be there anymore for birthday parties, girls' nights, nothing days. There will be no 5th year of our double date tradition on Valentines Day. Who will I text when I want to go have dinner...or coffee...or pedicures...or...whatever.

I am happy and excited for her. They can go wherever, whenever. The total opposite of where my life is now. I hope she sees and experiences all she can, and enough for both of us. Because I will be here, and I will just patiently await until she comes home some day.

I love you, Steph. I am so, so, soso lucky to call you my best friend. Never forget it. <3