Monday, February 13, 2012

Sometimes, I write to appreciate.

There’s a book open to a page with a whole lotta information about hypertension begging for some attention, & a cold, empty cup where green tea was steaming a couple hours earlier. The sound of my blog playlist is mixing with the rumbling little purrs of Ben laying next to me on the couch, & I’m having that feeling that I have every once in a while when I remember that, this life of mine? It’s happening. Right now. And all the planning, dreaming, waiting, wishing, & hurrying I do on a daily basis takes a back seat… for a second.

 I wish I could remember to do this more. Look around and realize, hey, look at my life…look at my life right now, right where it is. Look at the toys on the floor that my babies left there because they’re still little. Look at the dishes in the sink from dinner because I have a family who counts on me.  Look at me being a midnight-blogger because I don't have a quiet moment in the day. Look at my books stacked a mile high because I’m in school and I’m learning & stretching myself and that’s really freakin’ cool. Thankfulness; savoring the moment; seizing the carp.

...back to my ‘unthankful-place’, I realize that my throat is still feeling scratchy & since I’ve taken Emergen-C mixed with too many cough drops & not enough food, not only does my throat hurt, but now my stomach does, too. My stomachthroatache is complimented by the nightly contemplation of how I should do something about my study avoidance habits. I open the book;  I set it down next to me, and since the book is actually open, and I can technically see words (maybe in my peripheral vision),  I am convinced that my brain might subconsciously soak, process, and store them. {#heyanythingspossible.}

And then, I look at the clock and the time says ’12:49 AM’, and I suppose I should go to bed. And having taken these little feelings and savored them, and put them down on paper for all to see…it solidifies & immortalizes them, you know. And I feel clearer- for what it’s worth.  Now, I’ll go to sleep in my bed that has crumbs in the sheets and let all my studying sink in. 

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